There's a great lesson here about the expectations we place on parents.
A post on the Murdered by Words subreddit is going viral for the perfect way a poster shut down a knee-jerk "double-standard!" claim.
It began when a Redditor posted a 2015 Buzzfeed article story about a single dad who took cosmetology lessons to learn how to do his daughter's hair.
Most people would see the story as something positive. A dad goes out of his way to learn a skill that makes his daughter look fabulous.
But a commentator with the Reddit user name envyadams saw the story as an example of a sexist double-standard and rewrote the headline as "This Man Did Something That's Already Expected of Women But He Gets Extra Praise Because He's a Man."
The original poster responded with a beautifully-crafted burn.
prolicidal
No. A lot of women don't go to cosmetology classes to learn how to do hair, they have the experience from growing up-their mom doing their hair, Then experimenting which what they can do themselves. This guy probably had short hair his entire life with no clue on what to do. He didn't just look up how to do a ponytail, he paid for actual classes so that he could do his little daughters hair in cool and creative ways so that SHE gets the learning experience and learns how to do it her own and then can go to school with fabulous.
This is A+ daddy right here, he went above and beyond because he knows that he lack in certain areas where a mom would pick this up. Please don't destroy nice things that men do simply because they are men and you want to hate them.
The idea that it's wrong to praise a man for doing something outside of his gender norms is a really petty idea. Let's say a single mother learned how to do an oil change — a job typically performed by a man — to show her son how to do one, people would praise her as well, right? And she'd deserve it.
We'd love to live in a world where every man and woman regularly performs tasks traditionally associated with the another gender, but that still isn't the case. So we should praise those that step out of the gender box to encourage others to do, too.
The father's entire point was to learn a skill to improve his daughter's self-confidence. Many fathers would have just put the girl's hair in pigtails and moved on, because they have a great excuse: "I'm male and I don't know how to do hair."
The person who thought the story was all about double standards was a fine example of someone finding any excuse at all to call out non-existent gender bias. Gender-based discrimination is a real problem, but when we use the discrimination card indiscriminately, it makes it harder for people to care when real sexism is afoot.
The post on Murdered By Words received some great feedback from fellow Redditors.
"I don't know anyone, man or woman, who can do more than a few basic hairstyles for their kid. This dude went above and beyond what a lot of parents of either gender do." — NewVerses
"I know plenty of women (including myself) whose hair knowledge peaks at ponytails and simple braids. Saying this is normal for women is pretty out there. Major kudos to this dad for going the extra mile." — Fufu-le-fu
"Right? putting this much time into something to help your child express themselves is some A+ parenting. Really warms the heart." — DerelictInfinity
"I should look into this. Two girls who get a ponytail everyday, sometimes I mix it up and give them pig tails. The littlest gets a unicorn spike on top since her hair is still pretty short.. an afternoon class just for learning and practicing hairstyles would be great, good bonding time too." — awe2D2
"My mom just threatened to beat me with the brush if I cried." — WickedPrincess_xo
A little further digging makes the father in the story seem even more awesome. According to the original 2015 Buzzfeed story, the father Greg Wickherst is bald. So he probably hasn't run a comb through anyone's hair in decades.
Here. Buzzworthy, let me rewrite your headline:
This BALD Single Dad Has a Cosmetology Lesson So He Could Learn How to Style His Daughter's Hair
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