When two individuals get married, they become partners. And each partner, as the name suggests, holds equal accountability for everything they collectively experience. They are equally responsible for managing the household and raising kids. When Caleb Remington (@ustheremingtons) was going to have his second baby with his wife Tiffany through IVF, he was determined not to repeat the mistake he made when he had his first one. He posted a TikTok video showing that when his second baby was born, he took a 7-week paternity leave, and the results significantly changed his perspective on domestic duties, parenting, and relationships. “#Dadtok coming hot,” he said.
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Jonathan Borba
Caleb began the video by admitting how guilty he felt for not taking paternity leave when his first child was born. “With our first [baby], I didn’t have a single day of paternity leave. This time around, they gave me four weeks, and I took an extra three weeks of PTO. Part of me feels guilty that I didn’t do that with our first.” He emphasized how important it is for fathers to be present with their kids.
Studies have also shown that fathers who take paternity leave foster healthier relationships with their children than those who don’t. Plus, men who take paternity leave are likely to cultivate better relationships with their partners than those who don’t. “Being present with the kids and literally finding ourselves lost in time, watching ants cross the sidewalk, made me realize how many of those small moments I missed out on the first. But I am grateful that I had some time to make it up,” he said.
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Jonathan Borba
He said that the lady with the milk bags was seemingly so stressed by how messy their house was. So, he decided to take on more of those “domestic responsibilities” because this was where he had failed the first time. He also admitted that although his wife is usually the “man of the house,” this 7-week paternity leave taught him how to wrangle with the household duties.
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Mart Production
“110% of that is because of my wife. What you see in this video is actually what I do on a daily or weekly basis.” In the video, he is seen inside the house, wearing pajamas and doing everyday tasks like cleaning, mopping, sweeping, vacuuming, dusting, taking out the trash, folding clothes, cooking, washing dishes, and putting his toddler down for a nap,
Caleb admitted that previously he thought was doing his “fair share” of duties, but this time he realized that his role had been just the “bare minimum.” He said, “It has taken multiple conversations and many ongoing ones to truly master how to take on more of the mental load of raising children, growing our marriage, and taking care of our investments like our home.”
He continued by expressing how tough it was for them, as a couple, to bring children into the world, but despite all odds, they learned to do it right. At that time, they were “naive.” “I honestly hated how much we fought, how much I felt misunderstood, and how much I misunderstood her. We are actually really good communicators, but I felt like any time, anybody expressed something, the other was hurt.”
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Ketut Subiyanto
The dad of two said that this time, they were a little more prepared – “prepared in how we talk to each other, prepared in how I balance my work life and personal life, and prepared to just let things go.” Additionally, he wrote in the caption, “I am dedicated to doing better to help balance more of the domestic responsibilities.”
Image Source: TikTok | @bichaeljordan
In the comment section, people praised Caleb for choosing to take paternity leave. Many pregnant women expressed that they, too, wished to communicate the same to their husbands. @olivwils said, “I’m pregnant and this video made me cry. Love the accountability, everyone deserves this kind of empathy in their relationship!”
Image Source: TikTok | @the.color.chemist
Other users shared how this act of sharing household duties was such a great move for their relationship. @fallforyou7 commented, “You may not know it, but you are saving your marriage. It really is the little things.” @crackhead_central04 added, “This shows how important self-reflection and awareness is and the difference it can make not only for your partner but also your own growth.” @usernamesarehard22 agreed and said, “This warms my heart to see the time and effort put in. So many men take a back seat & it alienates their partner. Accountability is key!”
You can follow Caleb and Tiffany on TikTok and Instagram for more snaps of their parenthood journey.
A woman deprived of her sleep.Image via 
A Looney Tunes classic. 
Artist's rendering of a brain overlaid a woman's head.Image via 
Ultrasound of human baby.Image via 
IVF animated process.Image via 
A couple speaks with a fertility professional.Image via 
Love, Mom.Photo from Heidi Johnson 
A teen boy having a hard time. 
Why do some folks use social media but don't engage?
Psychologist says people who never comment on social media share these 5 positive traits
For over 20 years, social media has developed into a staple in many people’s day-to-day lives. Whether it’s to keep in communication with friends and family, following the thoughts of celebrities, or watching cat videos while sipping your morning coffee, there seem to be two types of social media users: commenters and lurkers.
The term “lurker” sounds equally mysterious and insidious, with some social media users writing them off as non-participants at best or voyeurs at worst. However, mindfulness expert Lachlan Brown believes these non-commenters have some very psychologically positive and healthy traits. Let’s take a look at how each one of these traits could be beneficial and see how fruitful lurking might be even though it can drive content creators crazy.
1. Cautious about vulnerability
Consciously or not, making a post online or commenting on one puts you and your words out there. It’s a statement that everyone can see, even if it’s as simple as clicking “like.” Doing so opens yourself up to judgment, with all the good, bad, and potential misinterpretation that comes with it. Non-commenters would rather not open themselves up to that.
These silent users are connected to a concept of self-protection by simply not engaging. By just scrolling past posts or just reading/watching them without commentary, they’re preventing themselves from any downsides of sharing an opinion such as rejection, misunderstanding, or embarrassment. They also have more control on how much of themselves they’re willing to reveal to the general public, and tend to be more open face-to-face or during one-on-one/one-on-few private chats or DMs. This can be seen as a healthy boundary and prevents unnecessary exposure.
Considering many comment sections, especially involving political topics, are meant to stir negative emotional responses to increase engagement, being extra mindful about where, when, and what you comment might not be a bad idea. They might not even take the engagement bait at all. Or if they see a friend of theirs post something vulnerable, they feel more motivated to engage with them personally one-on-one rather than use social media to publicly check in on them.
2. Analytical and reflective mindset
How many times have you gone onto Reddit, YouTube, or any other site and just skimmed past comments that are just different versions of “yes, and,” “no, but,” or “yes, but”? Or the ever insightful, formerly popular comment “First!” in a thread? These silent browsers lean against adding to such noise unless they have some valid and thoughtful contribution (if they bother to comment period).
These non-posters are likely wired on reflective thinking rather than their initial intuition. Not to say that all those who comment aren’t thoughtful, but many tend to react quickly and comment based on their initial feelings rather than absorbing the information, thinking it over, researching or testing their belief, and then posting it. For "lurkers," it could by their very nature to just do all of that and not post it at all, or share their thoughts and findings privately with a friend. All in all, it’s a preference of substance over speed.
3. High sense of self-awareness
Carried over from the first two listed traits, these silent social media users incorporate their concern over their vulnerability and their reflective mindset into digital self-awareness. They know what triggers responses out of them and what causes them to engage in impulsive behavior. It could be that they have engaged with a troll in the past and felt foolish. Or that they just felt sad after a post or got into an unnecessary argument that impacted them offline. By knowing themselves and seeing what’s being discussed, they choose to weigh their words carefully or just not participate at all. It’s a form of self-preservation through restraint.
4. Prefer to observe rather than perform
Some folks treat social media as information, entertainment, or a mix of both, and commenting can feel like they’re yelling at the TV, clapping alone in a movie theater when the credits roll, or yelling “That’s not true!” to a news anchor that will never hear them. But contrary to that, social media is a place where those yells, claps, and accusations can be seen and get a response. By its design, social media is considered by experts and the media as performative, regardless of whether it is positive or negative. Taking all of the previously mentioned traits into account, one can see why they would prefer to “observe the play” rather than get up on the stage of Facebook or X.
On top of that, these non-commenters could be using social media differently than those who choose to fully engage with it. Using this type of navigation, there may be nothing for them to comment about. Some commenters are even vying for this for their mental health. There are articles about how to better curate your social media feeds and manipulate algorithms to create a better social media experience to avoid unnecessary conflict or mentally tiring debate.
If you go on a blocking spree on all of your accounts and just follow the posters that boost you, it could turn your social media into a nice part of your routine as you mainly engage with others face-to-face or privately. In terms of commenting, if your curated Instagram is just following cute dogs and all you have to offer for a comment is “cute dog,” you might just enjoy the picture and then move on with your day rather than join in the noise. These non-commenters aren’t in the show and they’re fine with it.
5. Less motivated by social validation
The last trait that Brown showcases is that social media users who browse without posting tend to be independent from external validation, at least online. Social media is built to grow through feedback loops such as awarding likes, shares, and reposts of your content along with notifications letting you know that a new person follows you or wants to connect. This can lead many people to connect their activity on social media with their sense of self worth, especially with adolescents who are still figuring out their place in the world and have still-developing brains.
Engaging in social media via likes, shares, comments, and posts rewards our brains by having them release dopamine, which makes us feel good and can easily become addictive. For whatever reason, non-commenters don’t rely on social media as a means to gauge their social capital or self worth. This doesn’t make them better than those who do. While some non-commenters could have healthier ways to boost their self worth or release dopamine into their systems, many get that validation from equally unhealthy sources offline. That said, many non-commenters’ silence could be a display of independence and self confidence.
Whether you frequently comment online or don’t, it’s good to understand why you do or don’t. Analyzing your habits can help you determine whether your online engagement is healthy, or needs to be tweaked. With that information, you can then create a healthy social media experience that works for you.