Men share the 10 biggest green flags they have seen in women and the list is eye-opening

When we are dating or thinking about starting a relationship, we are usually on high alert for red flags. We look for the warning signs that tell us to run.

However, we often forget to look for the "green flags." These are the subtle cues that speak volumes about a person's character. From solid communication skills to healthy boundaries, these are the traits that make a person instantly likable. In a recent Reddit post, user u/SealeDrop asked the men of the internet a simple question: "What are the biggest green flags in a girl?"

The thread was flooded with responses. While some answers were expected, others offered a surprisingly deep look at what men actually value in a long term partner. Here are 10 of the best responses.

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1. True Altruism

It is easy to be nice when you want something. It is much harder to be nice just because.

"When they do nice things for you, it’s an investment in the shared happiness of the relationship and not self-serving and it isn’t with the intent of expecting something in return," wrote user u/JoeyMaddox.

Another user noted that for those with past relationship trauma, this can be hard to accept at first. But eventually, feeling safe enough to accept a gesture without suspicion is a game changer.

2. Creativity

This was one of the more unique answers. It isn't just about being good at art. It is about how a person thinks.

"The way she expresses and contributes to a conversation... smoothly shaking up the topic, creating things, describing concepts and feelings that most people have trouble expressing," said u/RedShadowF95. "It is a form of intelligence I deeply appreciate."

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3. Active Listening

There is a difference between hearing someone and actually listening to them.

User u/jayhitter explained that many people just wait for their turn to speak. A green flag is someone who asks questions and remembers the details later.

"One thing that shocked me about dating when I was younger was how infrequently women would ask me about myself," he wrote. "There is nothing to share when it's not being received."

4. Independence

A healthy relationship involves two whole individuals, not two halves trying to become whole.

"She doesn't require you to be around her to escort her to everything she does," said u/The_Sum. "She has her own hobbies and interests but is happy to share them but never pushes them onto you."

This prevents the relationship from becoming suffocating. It allows both partners to grow side by side rather than on top of each other.

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5. Resilience and Maturity

Life is going to get hard eventually. You need a partner who can weather the storm.

"At this age, we’ve all had our share of bad adult breakups, emotional pain, and traumas," wrote u/scsnse. "It’s all about whether you’re able to still stand up and fight at the end of the day."

6. Basic Life Skills (Cooking)

This isn't about gender roles. It is about adulting.

"It may sound sexist, but cooking. It means she has accepted responsibility for being an adult," explained u/QuantityDelicious.

The user clarified that this goes for men too. If you are living on your own, you should be able to keep yourself fed with something other than takeout. It shows you are self-sufficient.

Gif of Catherine O'Hara saying 'You just fold it in" via Giphy

7. Empathy for Others

Watch how your date treats people who can do nothing for them.

"If you see her caring about how others are doing, worried about the well-being of animals and concerned someone is left out... you know she's going to be a great partner," said u/Fritzo2162.

8. Hard Communication

Communication is easy when things are going well. It is essential when things are going wrong.

User u/ScarieltheMudmaid noted that learning to communicate emotions and expectations is difficult but necessary.

"If we hadn't learned to have the hard convos openly, we wouldn't have known how much space to give each other for processing big things," the user wrote.

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9. Radical Honesty

No mind games. No silent treatment. Just the truth.

"If she has a problem, she brings it up and lays it out plain, and then is open to discussing it," said u/Jirekianu.

The user admitted that this is rare, but he values it "more than a brick of solid gold."

10. Total Acceptance

Finally, the biggest green flag is finding someone who loves the parts of you that you don't even like yourself.

"I think the biggest green flag is when you get to something you are self-conscious or embarrassed about and she says that she is OK with it," wrote u/theshizirl.

A keeper is someone who appreciates who you are, even if you are still learning to accept it yourself.

This article originally appeared two years ago.